A Million Dollar Cowboy Bar performance dream...or...if I just would have avoided the tomatoes and green beans...or...another time perhaps

I have had the same vision the last few days. It has been so vivid I can actually feel the air of the bar on my bare legs as I work across the dance floor at the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, which is where Becky and I will be heading in just a few hours to witness the awesomeness of a wedding of our friend, Lindsey to her man, Steve!!!

Can we say,'ROAD TRIP!!!!!' 

I have been looking forward to this trip! I love Jackson so much, I think about that place a lot and if it didn't snow, I'd maybe consider living there. I could live out my fantasy of being a forest ranger and riding a horse and having my broke back moment. I did, after all, go to forestry camp in the 7th grade because that is what I wanted to do when I grew up. That was such an intense experience for me. It was a several week long camp, hours from home and I had to bunk up with strangers (gasp). I remember arriving early and my family dropping me with the kitchen help who were already there; at least I'm comfortable in a kitchen. Then, my family is driving away and I am running down the dirt road, dust in my face, my bell bottoms flapping on my cankles, tears streaming my dust covered face and my siblings pressed against the back window crying back at me. It was our first time ever apart from one another. The kitchen lady comforted me with a snack and I got to set up my bunk early. Score.

The camp was fun! Definitely a boundary pusher for young chub rub Davis, but I never let them see me weak!! During the course of the camp we had so many adventures and educational experiences. I was the youngest at camp, most were juniors or seniors, so many crushes.. The camp ended in a competition. The categories: tree identification, double buck sawing, chain sawing, compass setting and choker setting. I got first place in all but choker setting, which I got third in. I was awarded most diligent. I left that camp stronger in so many ways. I really think it gave me so much strength and ability to rise above and just make it through. That seriously came out of left field. Wow.. Anyway(sss), back to my vision:

We are in Jackson, it is Friday night we have just had a great meal and now we are at the Cowboy Bar, I love this place!! The best part is that it is packed full of people. Cowboys in their button snap shirts (tucked in), belts on their jeans, cowboy boots, hats and manners. They all dance. Every single one of them!!  It really is a sight to behold because they are ALL good dancers and know how to lead their partner across the floor. So, Lindsey has arranged for CAZ Colins, or something like that (he played in there once and we were in love with him and his music and sexy ways! When he did his prince cover we all threw our panties to him), to play the party in the bar. Everyone is dancing. 

I had arranged with the manager to use the kitchen to get dressed and I go out in my black and white fringe number and walk right up to CAZ, give him a wet long kiss without messing my lipstick and take the microphone. There is a hush in the air. I hear Lindsey scream,'DAYLIGHT!!!!' I tell the crowd that it is the night before her special day and I was hoping that they would all allow me a moment to perform a number for her. The wedding party goes wild and there are a few bud light bottles raised in other parts of the bar.

I clear the dance floor, hit my mark and the manager hits play.... Dance ten, looks three begins. I step, slide, charleston and shimmy my way across the floor.. That ain't it kid, that ain't it, my eyes lock with Lindz. Tears in my soul as I smile bigger and shimmy to the beat. A 5,6,7,8 the time step, freeze. Grab a cab... Move through the final note and pose, energy through the fingertips and body, expand beyond my sphere of existence. The crowd goes wild!!! The band starts up and I am twirled from cowboy to cowboy being the most perfect follow ever, trusting in how they thrust and dip me across the floor. Lindsey and I slow dancing to purple rain as I wipe my lipstick from all over her face. We always said we would be the best couple if I wasn't so gay and she wasn't so strait. What are you going to do? Dance it out! That is our motto.

I just keep picturing this moment. How incredible it feels to get to perform for her in her old haunt, surrounded by the people that love her most. 

I actually told myself that if I was feeling well enough from the latest gout attack, I had some green beans and tomatoes, that I would bring my bag! The reality is, it ain't gonna happen. My heart is in the right place, but my knee is just too swollen still.

As I'm laying here, I hear the alternate wheel in my brain saying,' well, you did have a really great day today and by Friday you could be feeling pretty near perfect maybe you should pack your bag and bring it just in case... I mean it would suck if you didn't have it there and the time was perfect.'

And the other wheel,' and you could just be shot dead right there in the bar and what kind of a wedding gift is that to give to Lindsey?! Way to take her day away from her, you really are a selfish little bitch ain't ya?

'

What to do? What to do? I guess I'll just wait until morning and see what Daylight brings to the day!

The space between my ears

In the days leading up to DRAGALUTION, last Friday, I would continually run through the numbers in my mind. I would picture how it was all going to feel, kept my feet from touching the ground for days. Every moment has exceeded every scenario my mind had painted!!!

So many favorite and important moments; I'll list a few:

Melanie, Austin and Lillian making the trip from Eugene to be with us, for the parade especially!

Nicholas making the trip from Portland and bringing the fiercest version of Annya Allnight EVER!!!!

Fuck you Jerry!!! Becky bringing Jerry so to life and dominating the world with her style and grace!!!

David being able to do the show. And dominating her solo debut!!!!

Katie having to sit this one out, last minute.

Spending the day with Pierce setting up the sound system

Having my Cums family gathered and getting to ride the GlamTram down to the show, making a few loops around town, waving, laughing, hugging and dancing.

Stopping at Supper Club to hug Katrina and T!! A ritual of mine.

Getting off at the theater and seeing so many people gathered to get in to the show; almost everyone dressed up!

This show was important form me, my return to the stage after the year break to heal so that I could do this.

Attitude check!

FUCK YOU BITCH!!! Still rings through my ears and soul.

All these moments have been swirling through the space between my ears.

The show.

What?!?! It was the first time I actually felt like I nailed a performance. I didn't disappoint myself. Big accomplishment (wink).the thrill of standing with our backs to you while Sofanda Dykes cooed us with love for sale. Applause. Applause applause!

Hey big spender! That feeling looping in my soul!

This is how the show went for me... Perfection within the flawed fibre of the world, there were issues, but none that would tear me down.

Drag lessons 101 killed me!!! Still laughing! Ginger, you are perfection!!

All the standing ovations! Melt my little heart.

The after party, dancing, hugging, laughing and discussing.

Seeing Cloud come into focus at the snack bar! He may have missed the show, but he made it for the rest of the festivities!! And by festivities, I mean Regatta Parade!!!

This year, DRAGALUTION and the Lower Columbia Q Center joined forces and we all walked together and rode the float, spreading our love and brightness with no apologies. None. All the love there! The families and friends that gathered to walk with us and celebrate love wins! Because it always does.

I keep thinking of the bravery of the young ones, straight, gay, lesbian, transgender, our elders, each of us surrounded in bright colors of love and light!

Letting the bubble machine, dance tunes and flower petals line the streets where we pass!

The incredible beauty of most of us covered in Holi powder from India making us that much brighter.

The people that came by to be covered in our love, our blessings.

The thrill of rolling through town and seeing friends and family along the sides cheering us along and showering us in love!!! Incredible. There are always those moments, and times when I realize how important it is to be present in life, and that really rang true towards the end of the parade, right by the Fort George, when I saw one of my favorite people from childhood and I gave her a shout out and she rolled her eyes and head at me, not uncommon. I asked her why. She yelled back that," it is because of you and your kind that I don't bring my grandchildren to the parade anymore." I just wrapped her in love and light and kept moving. Broke my heart to hear those words.

It also solidified the purpose of being present in life. Doesn't just have to be in large groups, but to be present as an individual human, sharing space with other humans. Take everything away, and we are all the same.

I've included Ann in my meditations, hoping that she will awaken in this life time and understand that love covers more ground than hatred. That understanding always leads the way and that we are all family. All of us.

Her words only gave me more purpose and vitality. I am on the right path.

I was so moved by how glorious we all were floating down the streets of Astoria and

how great it felt for us all to gather and walk with our hearts open and not apologizing for being our incredible selves!!

All these things have been occupying the space between my ears as I come down from the rush of love we all created together this weekend!!! Let us keep our brightness shinning and surround those that oppose us with warm golden light to help melt the shell of fear conditioning has placed there. Love is the way! And I love you all, all the way!!! Thank you for lifting me up and sparkeling so fiercely with me!!

All my love,

Daylight

The road to DRAGALUTION, or watching my past be torn down each step of the way, or how service club saved my life

I walk to work. I walk just about everywhere these days; and honestly, it has been faster than driving this summer. Right?!?! Part of my walk to work involves my playlist. For the last few months, it has been the numbers from the show coming up on the 7th of August at the Columbian Theater!! Other times, I have my walking playlist. I like a nice beat with an undertone push. Something that grounds me and moves me forward.

On work days, I usually stop by Rusty Cup to see Kristy and flirt and talk a little dirty, laugh loudly take my iced chai and swish down the street. It really gets me going.

I am such a Hoover Upright that I'm usually done with my drink by the time I leave her shop or by the time I hit the red garbage can by the Armory.

I practice this thing called, 'movement visualization', I watch myself performing the number while I am walking. It is a great mind body exercise!! Of course, I always hit a beat here and there and always mouth along, overemphasizing my mouth so it will read from a distance. The looks I get some days!! Cracks me up.

Anyway(sssss), I always walk past the football field, the old one, right across from where the fairgrounds used to be, miss those days. As you may have noticed, they are tearing it down. Watching this journey brought back so many memories for me...

It was always so tough and rough at the football games. I loved to go, but it was just too much for sensitive little me. I joined the service club and it changed my life! I had a purpose at the games, I sold hot dogs, popcorn, soda and candy and got to watch the games!! Yay!!  And on brave days, I would journey over, in my blue and gray Skor windbreaker jacket, swish swish swishing all the way up to sit near the band and watch the cheerleaders do their cheers. "Fishermen sailed the seven seas and brought them to their knees." Or something like that! Oh to be a cheerleader! In another life! Or decade (wink). 

Because this queen is ending the show with a cheer dance with pom poms  and all!!! So, here I am walking down the street, lip syncing to 'when love takes over' picturing my little Moonshine singing out and cheering proud and I just can't help myself, I have to finish out the phrase right there on the street. I love my life!!

The other one that is hard not to dance along with is the number I am dancing with Pelvis Pressme. She has choreographed it for us and it is to my jam song that has been looping through my being the last 6-12 months. Was such a joy to add that to my rehearsal walk to work mix! Hells yeah!!!

When I get back on marine drive I always tone it down, just a bit because there is always just so much traffic. But you know, I already get the stares,  so it really ain't no thing to give them a bit more to gawk at. It helps build up my resilience on stage.

I have realized that I have always enjoyed the security of a counter or stage for public interactions. I truly am a shy person and that barrier, the fourth wall if you will, really does lend such a nice shield when needed. I know it was a main draw for me cooking at the Columbian Cafe for all those years; I got to be a part of the party but got to be a bit removed making it easier on my sensitive nature.

DRAGALUTION helps

me tear down that fourth wall further. I have found I don't like having that distance. I like being a part of the whole and our shows do that. They are interactive and all participating!!!

We are so excited to bring you this show on Friday!! It is really so fantastic and stunning!! Not my typical nasty(wink). It still pushes the boundaries but in a more open and loving it way!

As I watch the John Warren Field lose its shape, I welcome the transformation shaking my foundation and pushing my walls to oblivion. I am ready, I am Cumming for you, I am so into this next step, this leap onto the stage and into the air around us all!!

I can not wait to celebrate with you all on Friday!! See you there if not sooner!!

Much love and with an open heart,

Yours,

Daylight