It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that bling

I have always been one that loves to accessorize, and I don't mean just outfits(wink). I have always had this drive to hear the language of the world around me and do as it commands. Sometimes, it may be leaving scattered flowers along a path leading the way to a glorious magical moment. Maybe it is wearing my gold Isis wings on the beach or while roller skating along the water front. Why? You may wonder....because it feels fucking great!!

The first time I really took a brave step out and start to express my love for color and texture in an outfit, was my 8th grade graduation outfit. I worked gardening for store credit trade at Steven's Fine Men's Clothing, when it was still in Warrenton. My outfit was a fuchsia Polo shirt with a turquoise horse that was accompanied by a cashmere sweater of the same turquoise with the fuchsia horse (my aunt still has it, I pet it when I can...so soft now). My hair was feathered perfectly! My grandma had taken me down to Stylemasters, I always liked going there because the girls always told me how beautiful my hair was... Miss those days. We would also go to the Brass Rail for salads with blue cheese dressing, so good and house made croutons from rye bread! Anyway(sssss), that was my first big jump out from the gray, brown and navy blue life I had been in for those 9 years at Star. I remember being at my 20 year class reunion and someone had brought the photo and I just lost it! Sitting around the table, all us Star kids, gabbing like we were back in the cafeteria and the stories that came up, oh my!!! And then someone chimed in,"and there is Mark, always pushing the buttons and rules! I looked so pleased with myself.

You may be wondering what is this 'Mark' shit? Mark was my past, he was the perfect good boy, that really wasn't. He was the one who hid in the closet out of fear. Mark was damaged. His system was greatly flawed and so he was put away in a tidy box and walked away from. Marco is who I am. I had to claim myself from the wreckage of my life post rape, post attacks and post fear of everything. I couldn't be afraid anymore, I couldn't let it look over me and always threatening to strike. I decided to stand firm, turn around and great my fears and get to know them. I have many. My main issue was that I couldn't be alone. Couldn't walk places by myself, couldn't go to the store alone, I was crippled with fear and worked extra hard to not let anyone know I was freaking out because I didn't want anyone to know I was damaged goods.

Marco has been my greatest accessory!! He has made my every outfit pop! He has pushed me to grow further than Mark ever thought he could. Those two years in NYC taught me so much. The best lesson was learning to be alone. Sure, I was surrounded by people always, but you have to learn to take care of yourself and that that required finding a voice. I know I'm loud, but I'd scream words, I wanted to find my voice and to do that I had to speak up and own my words and more importantly my actions.

Over the years, I've tried just about everything on. I love the bling and the eye catching outfit! And I've tried them all. When I returned from NYC in 1996, I got another incredible accessory, her name was Stella and she was my mannequin! I really loved her so much! I was living across the street from Star of the Sea, in the 'Brady' apartment building. My apartment faced the school on 14th and it got to where I changed her outfits weekly! I would always debut them on Sunday mornings after the 8:30 mass. There I go pushing those boundaries again. I would love to sit off to the side, hidden, and take in the reactions!! The best we're always the cars backing back up the hill to get a second look. She was really something! She was also well know around

town. People would always ask after her. Then, people started leaving me outfits for her! I am serious. I ended up moving into a two bedroom so that I could make room for all of her stuff. It was my first drag lab! You do know I wore all those things myself, right!!

She helped me to start unlocking that feminine aspect of my being. 

And now, I have me, Daylight. I have stepped in it fully and have been swishing around for years. Each step I understand more. I love the getting dressed up, becoming complete. I feel so alive when I get to walk out the front door and out to someplace to be with my friends. As a queen, walking down the street to the bar to meet my friends..fear a distant life,still an echo, keeping me alert, like watching for elk.

What I have been discovering, the gout has really been assisting, is that my bling is my heart. It is my big red ruby. It has shown me that I require nothing. I don't even cringe when I'm called Mark anymore. I love how strong and brave he was and how he pushed me to be me! 

I am my greatest bling! I think that is why I always feel so comfortable in all the multiple types of outfits I choose to wear. The are all extensions of who I am and I got to express it. We all do. We owe it to ourselves to let our bling shine! That is what DRAGALUTION is all about. We may start feeling like we are 'dressing' up but after awhile you realize that what your are really doing is speaking your language with all of the textures, colors, patterns and sounds of your outfits. It becomes your voice, a means to communicate without words. Art.

I see you. I love watching you own yourself and making eye contact on the street. I love it when we have a moment of song, a hug, a big laugh, our hearts melting a little bit with each exhale. Let's make this our season of bling and shine bright for ourselves and one another.