Dancing it out, bitch

Hey y'all!! I don't know if it is because I'm about to have a birthday or my eyes are opening and I'm able to see the more hidden complexities of my patterned life; but this show is really opening my eyes to so much about who I am!! I love that about art!  And really, that is what I am making and putting on stage with the great performers I have with me for this DRAGALUTION!!!

I didn't plan it, but this show is really all about working through the suppressed issues of my sexual awakening and abusive situations I have been in, along with some incidents of being beaten up for living out loud; all with a sexy comedic twist- which is how it always helps me cope with the pain. By putting a little laughter in it, I find it easier to look at.

Anyway, last night, at rehearsal, we were working on the finale for the show; a new song, " the song of my life" and as we are going through the choreography, I had a moment where I almost fainted because the song and movement all unlocked something in me.....

The song was written while I was with my aunt and her friend at Salt Spring.  I got up one morning and my aunt said she had heard me singing in my sleep, she couldn't hear what I was singing, she just heard the song. I was stunned to hear I sing in my sleep and I wondered if it was the song of my life or just something random... The song was written that day.

Then, I get together with Tyler and Olaf who have put this amazing music together and we recorded the song.

One part in the song, I'm reflecting on the big attack in my life, which caused me to live in fear for about 10 years; almost directly after recording the song I run into said individual and realized he had no power over me anymore! It was an incredible moment.

I've lived by the thought that as we learn about ourselves, live our lives, we are able to see the patterns, or cycles, we get stuck in and by noticing the pattern we are able to step beyond it and be free of whatever was keeping us stuck in that loop.

This also struck me strongly last night as I was teaching the movement.  Sometimes I feel like I am just doing the same thing to different music. Theme and variation is one thing but I wonder if there is enough variation to my themes? I guess as soon as I figure out that pattern I will step beyond it too( internal wink).

I have pushed myself to bring you a show that is different than the last, but still recognizable as my work. I hope that you will love it!! For me, getting to be on stage and share myself with you in all the crazy ways I like to do is what makes me whole and feel most alive!! You feed my drive to live a full, expressive and creative sexy filled life and I thank you all so much for that!

Mush love and I hope to see you on January 25 at the Columbian Theater!